I think I can make this a story soon

Bucket list... such an impersonal term for things that mean so much, things you want to accomplish once in your life before you die. Throw it on the bucket list. Bucket. Trashcan. Paint. Glue. Toilet. I wish I could think of a more poignant term. Maybe... dream list or get er done list... but what do I know? Schindler's list sounds better than bucket list.

Life is just so unfair. Sometimes I just want to flush it down the bucket list. Anyway, I am very happy to be transcribing my old journals that I have not seen in years and I am backing them up with Word too but in this digital age you never know when you will lose something so I refuse to throw out hard copies. Not that its important stuff but everything here is for my kids, after I'm dead, they will at least have an idea of where they came from and who there dad really was.

As far as editing as I go, not much. I don't edit the ideas or thoughts but just the bad language and wording of an inexperienced 16 year old and even that's not much. Very minimum editing and I only take out obvious over the top writing mistakes. I preserve the original idea or perception so that if a sentence reads: It was a beautiful wonderful fabulous morning full of promise and hope, the edit would read, it was a wonderful morning full of promise.

I've come to understand through reading these old journals too how important 7th, 8th and 9th grades are in one's development. They are the years that will make you who you are as an adult. They are very troubling confusing times and we are at risk of making wrong decisions. When you're in 8th grade we have to learn how to make a decision. In 9th grade we have to learn to make the right decision. I moved to Randolph in between 7th and 8th grade. I went from an environment of popularity to an environment of a nobody, at a critical stage in my development and unfortunately I made a ton of wrong decisions that may have kept me from becoming what I wanted to be. I will never know that. I will be a hawk when my kids get to 7th grade and at least they will not be set up for any failure as much as I can control it.