Acid. I’ve written about it before— that I had taken my fair
share of it over the years. I took my first hit of mescaline “mesc” when I was
about 15. I was also smoking pot and sometimes stealing cups of booze from my
dad’s bottles behind the bar (and replacing it with water— man, was I smart.
Duh). I was in High School. I’ve also written about the complexity of my
psyche, its fragility, in those years after I moved from Watertown to Randolph.
Anyway, now sometimes I look at older pictures of my brother— older pictures of
us in general— me, friends and family and I remember certain things at certain
moments. Lately I’ve been thinking about acid. Acid trip moments—the mind
altering madness and surreality; the slowing down of time and the uncontrollable
laughter from the smallest trivial occurrence. If it was a good trip, you didn’t
want it to end; if it was bad it would never end. There was no escape.
The infamous Rhode Island night with Dano— I actually posted
that journal here before— but basically we got lost and picked up a hitch-hiking prostitute
by mistake. There were the times tripping at the fort— myself, Rich, Dave and
whoever else may have been with us— Kevin and Glen maybe or Dano but, all of us
sitting by a campfire at night in a park frequented by cops, as our laughter
shot across the quiet summer night. Once, camping in The Blue Hills tripping
all through the night, hiking and following a red light on the horizon because
we had no idea where we were going or where we were and afraid that we were
going to get jumped by angry raccoons. There was that time when me, Rich, Dano,
Dave, Wabrek and Slabs dropped mescaline at the Dylan and Dead show at Sullivan
Stadium— myself standing in a sea of Deadheads as they danced and floated along
to long Dead jams and I’m just observing in amazement, struck by the unification
of it all— like everyone had drank the same cool aid; then I realize I’m
probably just like them floating around in my own strange orbit. That time
tripping at my parents, twice actually— once when my parents were out— a
Saturday night and me and Rich are “tripping our socks off” and we had put on The
Wall video cassette to watch it on my parent’s big TV and we get so fucked up,
we drift off in different directions—I made my way upstairs into my room and laid
down and all the while I can hear Pink Floyd playing on the TV and I’m seeing
the most surreal images in my head— dancing women who bend over and piss in my
eye, like holograms in my head, all kinds of shapes and colors and the music
pulses through my body and it’s dark in my room and I have no idea where anyone
is and I close my eyes and watch the fireworks of acid pop off in the darkness
of my mind. Another time with Dave and Rich, huddled in Dave’s small room as we
played Atari on the small TV, in particular Joust and listened to George Carlin
records and at one point the record got stuck and kept playing, “the cock
crowed 3 times” over and over; none us
could get up to fix it— it just kept playing and we laughed at it until
suddenly we heard my mother’s voice calling us from down stairs and her voice
became part of the record and it was an insane symphony that gripped our minds.
There was that time at Rich’s mom’s house in Holbrook—me, Rich and Dave— outside
watching the sky— they are both tripping, having dropped before me and mine
hasn’t kicked in; as they stand there looking at the sky they keep asking, “Did
you see that? look its moving! Its following us. Ssh… it’s a ship or something”—
I’m looking and telling them, “guys you are just tripping, there’s nothing
there” and I’m laughing at them; but suddenly mine kicks in and by golly they
are right— there is a light that follows us as we walk through the Grove and it’s
all so weird and funny. And my last trip, around 1999 I guess when me and Dano
and Doug went hiking for the weekend, climbing Mt Greylock and on the second
night we dropped acid; right afterwards, a couple of hikers pass by our tents
and warn us to keep an eye out for a bear and her two cubs they saw just down
the road— oh great… and when my trip kicks in, it’s a night of paranoia and
confusion so great that I can’t hang out and talk with anyone—Dano, Doug and a
couple of fellow hikers we met; but I crawl into the safety of my tent and
spend the rest of the night listening to them talk and often laughing at loud
at some of their jokes (this was when I decided my days of tripping were over—
I had given up pot years before as well due to paranoia as well) and I can only
imagine the jokes at my expense as they heard my laughter coming out of the
tent and knowing I was on a bad trip.
Anyway, I just wanted to get these memories off my chest.
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