Taking a break from all the journal stuff... I can see my old life unfolding from the pain of heartbreak to the freedom of life and I read this stuff and I'm in awe of this person I used to be, the energy, the motivation (although much of my energy and motivation was used in misplaced ways), the cluelessness and I wonder, who is this young confused kid. It's truly fascinating seeing myself as I once was and who I am now. I was a roman candle popping up across the sky and sometimes the balls of light were duds and never shot out, sometimes they lit the dark sky and sparked the imagination and other times they just fizzled out. The paradox of my youth. I was just so lost, I didn't care what happened to me.