I guess it’s time for yet another installment of my
adventure journals— I say, I guess (in resignation) only because I’ve lost one
very important presummer book that included significant trips to New York City,
Quebec region and White Mountains— pissed really because some drunk crackhead
freeloading loser who lived downstairs from Kevin in Braintree got a hold of
it— he found it in his girlfriend’s car where it must have fallen out of my bag
when she was giving me a ride to Randolph— that I even brought it outside with
me on a drinking night; well the boyfriend found it and in jealous stoned rage
thought I was sleeping with her and threw it out her car window one night near
the train station ( I even went back to the station once I found out and combed
the entire area, nothing), now gone forever from ink. Somehow it still lingers
in my head.
So here I am, now, in Montreal, mid-August with a prison
sentence over my head and not knowing if I can start school at Umass Boston in
September or go to jail for an alleged assault and battery and indecent assault
from last May night in Harvard Square— a drunk night for sure but I am no more
a violent drunk than a housecat on catnip. I will get into that later. For now,
I will live and try to capture and recapture spring and summer experiences for
future stories. So here in Montréal, we will head downtown (centre-ville) for
more sightseeing— figure I can write later as I’m sitting now in old port
listening to French-Canadian singer woo locals and tourists while Martin and
Dano discuss how to bring beers into a biker festival and I can’t concentrate—
the amps are booming now and the breeze from the St Lawrence river is
a-stirring.
(The following is a tape-recording of myself, Dano and
Martin in Dano’s truck on the way to biker festival. I had found the old mini
tape player and tape maybe 3 years ago and transcribed it verbatim)
Martin: Oh oooh oooh oh oooh beautiful lady!
Dano: this is that food festival right?
Jim: I’m sick of going to these homo festivals with Martin.
When are we going to do straight ones?
Dano: I’m tired of having to put on my leather G-string
(laughter)
Jim: Time for another Mohawk
(next recording)
Jim: Look at that Harley! (laughter)
Martin: Oh ooh oh ooh!
Jim: I feel like I’m at Great Woods right now
Martin: Maybe just right over there (looking for a place to
park)
(later)
(The announcer, in
french, introduces band to wild applause and in background Martin talks to
strangers, whistles, screams and shouts— then guitar, drums, rhythms, keyboards
and a female singer.
Jim: Let’s park next to a cop. That would be smart. I think
you gotta pay to get in. I just saw people giving cash at the gate.
Dano: I won’t fit in there
Jim: That’s what she says
Martin: Ha ha— that’s what she says
Jim: Ah that hurt
Dano: that sounded like it
Martin: Outside of five woman— oh ooh oh ooh!
Jim: yup yup yup
Martin: in front of that
Jim: time to go to school— école
Martin :
L’école
Jim :
This is gonna be so strange seeing all these tough looking fat cigar smoking harley davidson wearing t-shirted guys speaking French.
Dano :
Hey hey! Put us in reverse
Martin :
can you open the door?
Dano :
get out!
Jim :
shut up
Dano :
why don’t you just get
out Jim
Jim :
give me a beer and shut up all ya’s (car drives by) you might want to shut the
door next time. Put that out! Behind you.
Dano :
how far off from the proverbial curb am I?
Jim :
Oh great. Only six feet
Dano :
Well I know I’m great but thats beside the point. How far off am I?
Jim :
Oh man. Check that car out, check it out, Dan, fucking nice.
Dano :
what’s that? A Colt?
Jim :
It’s a Volkswagen, man. Jerry’s dead, man.
Martin :
Who?
Jim :
Jerry Garcia
Martin :
Jerry’s got a gun.
Dano :
Do you know Jerry Garcia?
Martin :
No
Dano :
You don’t know Jerry Garcia?
Jim :
Wow, I guess they are culturally inept... so what’s the deal here— gonna go
hang out with a bunch of bikers
Martin :
whatta fuck, man.
(later)
Jim : I never been inside a Québec jail, let’s try it out.
Martin : The service is very good, you
know.
Jim : three hots and a cot.
Martin : Eggs, bacon for the morning.
Jim : Poutine at noon time.
Martin : Pussy in your face.
(laughter)
Jim : Strippers at our own
convenience. 1 900 numbers.
Martin : 196797676
Jim : Wow did you do that off the top
of your head?
Dano : He’s used it enough times.
( a car horn beeps)
Dano : Dial-a-chicken (laughter)
Martin : Let’s go, man… There’s going
to be a rock and roll party tonight. Man. I can feel it in the air. The cops we
saw they are provincial cops like state cops. They are looking for problems,
you know.
Jim : They’re looking for fights,
they’re looking for brawls, they’re looking for guns. They ain’t lookin’ for
little— a couple of Bostonians hopping the fence with a bag of beer.
Dano : I don’t think the cops care if
we hop the fence either. What’s it to them.
Jim: Unless they’re
really bored, they could go out of their way to bust our balls.
Dano: I don’t think
they’ll be bored here tonight.
Jim: I know. Somehow I
do have a feeling if we do hop the fence we’re going to get beat up, anyway.
(laughter)
Martin: I like this
place, man. It’s cool.
Jim: What’s this?
School.
Martin: Yeah.
Secondary. Kind of junior high.
(later)
Jim: Martin, have you
ever had sex with a man?
Martin: Nope (laughter)
Jim: He’s lying.
Martin: With a guy
that was okay. We had a talk for a half hour. Nothing happened. And we began to
talk to each other. Talking about his life. Talking about my life. In that time
I was with Marie.
Jim: What wasn’t good
about it? (Dano laughs from the distance)
Martin: Nothing. I
just want to try. That’s all. Hey! Tabernac! I’m talking about something very
serious to me.
Jim: I’m having a hard
time believing it.
Martin: It changed my
life in a way.
(later inside concert
area)
Jim: Hey Martin how ya
doin’?
Martin: I am fucking
drunk.
Jim: How drunk are you
my friend?
Martin: Very druuuunk—
hahahaha
Jim: Are you stupid?
Martin: (he speaks a
couple of sentences in French)
Jim: You’re lookin’
rather naked and your pectoral muscle is dripping down your penis. Have you any
comment on that?
Martin: Fuck you I
won’t do what you told me! Fuck you I won’t do what you told me!
Jim: And that
concludes our interview with a vampire. Stay tuned next week for Devo.
Jim: This is WBCN live
from Montreal , Canada
Dano: Alannah Myles?
Jim: Alannah Myles is
opening up here live at Montreal , Canada
Dano: Welcome to
Auditory. There’s babes everywhere.
Jim: We’re still
awaitin’ the arrival of Nine Inch Nails.
Dano: We’re still
awaitin’ the arrival of Martin, the drunk.
Jim: Martin’s pulling
a Jim. He’s pulling a me, folks but it’s okay because life is tooooo short to
care but, anyway, David Bowie will be right back after these messages.
(later)
Jim: I’m gettin’ close
to the stage. They’re doin’ soundchecks now, folks. You’re listenin’ to 104.1
WBCN, the roooock of Boston
(later)
Jim: Dan wants images.
Tell me some images my friend.
Dano: By the way
you’re talkin’ into the speaker. The microphone’s up here.
Jim: Ohh ohh! … So
there I was (laughter)
Here we are at the
Greenday concert 95.
(later)
Jim: Okay you want
images? I’m in a room full of French speakin’ Harley Davidson
I’ll-kick-your-ass motherfuckers.
(later)
Dano: That’s fine but
if you do end up back here in ten minutes you’re gonna be the exception to the
rule… because ordinarily I would not fuckin’ see you again. So keep your shit
with you, go on your way and I’ll see you later. That’s fine. I don’t care.
(later)
Martin: Hello… My name
is… Martin Gagnon. Fuck you motherfucker. I’m drunk.
Jim: Yeah? Images.
Okay Dano right now.
Dano: Okay so…
bandanas, hats, studded belts, leather vests, Harley t-shirts, women in short
shorts and halter tops— big breasts, shorts— ahh, I already said that but, but,
but, butts big or small, beautiful, not so beautiful all the same… they’re
flaunting themselves. There’s, roles are being played. The women fit the role—
the women being sexual and lookin’ pretty. The men are macho and comin’ off as
very strong and they’re playin’ their part. They got hair on their face.
They’re very cool. It’s all good people.
(later)
Martin: That’s a real
fucking biker party (he burps).
(later)
Jim: What’s your name?
Man: Norm.
Jim: Norm? Nooorm.
Man: Yeah
Jim: What does this
music do for you?
Man: What’s do for me?
Jim: Yeah. Why are you
here?
Man: For the biker.
Jim: You’re a biker.
Man: Yeah
Jim: That’s the only
reason you’re here?
Man: Yeah— no, for the
music and the people and the sun, the beer and all together— the party.
Jim: Yeah, the party.
Well, back to the music. I been told this music here is very special to
Canadians. Is it special to you?
Man: Yeah
Jim: Why?
Man: Because she’s a
Canadian singer.
Jim: Neil Young’s a
Canadian singer.
Man: Yeah. He good
too, very good.
Jim: He just recorded
an album with Pearl Jam.
Man: iiir… okay.
Jim: But anyway, I
digress. What does she do for you? What’s the special connection?
Man: I don’t know how
to… Er… (he speaks French to his girlfriend who is listening and laughing). I
don’t know how to say in english.
Girlfriend: He likes
her music, her voice.
Jim: Her style?
Man: Yeah yeah style
because she’s a rocker. She’s blues. Blues? She’s blues. I like blues. That’s
it.
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